Responding to My Last Slashdot Troll, Part 2

Photo by Utopia By Cho

This essay is in response to this comment. My last troll on Slashdot can’t respond on Medium without violating the Terms of Service (TOS). The response on Slashdot should be entertaining. You can read Part 1 here.

Chris’s channel blurb says “C.D. Reimer makes videos about comic cons, pop culture, Silicon Valley and technology”. He hasn’t made a comic con video in months, yet it’s the first item in his blurb. Pop culture? Telling people you’re going to see a movie is pop culture, I guess?

My YouTube content strategy has four buckets: comics cons, pop culture, Silicon Valley, and technology. Each bucket does equally well in gaining views during a normal year. Toss in the coronavirus pandemic and government shutdowns, comic cons and pop culture—two industries that rely heavily on in-person events — were no longer viable. Silicon Valley and technology videos have gotten more views this year.

My last comic con video was on October 7, 2020, “Unboxing Interactive Maker Workshop Bundle — SiliCon With Adam Savage.” My eighth comic con video for the year. That’s well under the two dozen or so comic con videos I typically make from attending three to five comic cons per year. I’ve lost interest in all the virtual cons this year, except for that of my hometown SiliCon With Adam Savage (formerly Silicon Valley Comic Con and Big Wow ComicFest).

Going to the movies is very much pop culture. With the AMC Stubs A-List program ($25 USD per month), I saw 48 movies last year. Many movies provide topics for my videos.

My most popular pop culture video to date was, “Where Was Cindy Lou’s Father In The Grinch?” That movie leaves unanswered why Cindy Lou’s mom was a single parent raising three kids and working a night job in a town where every Who was related to every other Who in Whoville. Except for Mr. Grinch, being a What and not a Who.

My last movie a week prior to the first shutdown was Bloodshot in early March. Social distancing — keeping six feet apart — was the rule. When the theaters reopened so ever briefly in November, I saw Tenet, Goldfinger, and Freaky. Social distancing and wearing a mask were the rule. Like many people, I missed going to the movie theaters.

Technology? A video about a standing desk is technology I guess?

A viewer commented that he appreciated my “low-end tech” videos (i.e., a $50 USD budget processor). Most established tech channels make “high-end tech” videos (i.e., $500 USD processor). But not everyone can afford the latest, greatest, and expensive tech items.

In fact, low-end tech is an underserved niche on YouTube.

Many tech channels have done videos about $300+ USD standing desks that can go up or down, recall different height settings from memory, and does everything except make toast at the press of a button. Because I needed a standing desk for my work from home day job, I got one for $75 USD and made a video about it.

Remember his dedication to weight loss? He couldn’t even understand how a gym scale works because his fat ass thunked the scale at its maximum for months. And he gained weight. On a diet.

When I started going to the gym in 2002, I went full Arnold Schwarzenegger and bulked up from 350 pounds to 375 pounds (the gym scales maxed out at 350 pounds). I went from 2XL to 4XL in shirt sizes. Do you know how hard is it to find 4XL shirts? I stopped weight lifting and switched to cardio. My weight dropped to 350 pounds and I went back to 2XL shirts, but I looked trimmer than I did before going to the gym.

When my father had an episode that put him in the hospital, he lived with me for two months while he recovered in 2010. The doctor put him on a low-carb diet. He insisted I go on the same diet since misery loves company and he became pissed that I took the new diet in stride. After eight years of going to the gym, switching the way I eat doesn’t make me miserable.

Check out my “Exercise is Futile” T-shirt on Teespring, as suggested by my last Slashdot troll!

Remember his haiku phase? He was going to publish his collection in January 2018, after months of delays, to finally bury the thing.

That ebook never came out was for two reasons: the poems were available for FREE on Tumblr (I deleted the account last year), and I switched to making YouTube videos in December 2017.

When I started publishing my short stories and poetry as eBooks in 2010, selling a 1,500-word short story for a quick buck was quite easy. That lasted for five years before the market changed. Nothing was selling. Something had to change. I pivoted to YouTube. Not to make money but to build an audience. Three years later, I’ve made 250+ videos, earned 340+ subscribers, and gained 114K+ views.

Just as they complained about my eBooks, my trolls complained about my videos. But a funny thing happened in those three years. My trolls dropped from two dozen to only one on Slashdot.

Or how he was going to be a millionaire by 65 because of a few poorly-written dull and plodding ebooks?

If you want to be financially independent, you need to have at least 30 different income streams. If your only source of income is a job and you lose your job, you’re screwed. If you have multiple income streams, losing a job isn’t a big deal. By the time I retire at 72 in 2041, I’ll have multiple income streams and won’t be dependent on Social Security (if it still exists).

Will I stop working when I turn 72? Probably not.

My father retired at 59.5 because he expected to be dead at 60. All his older brothers died at 60, all were smokers for 45 years. He quit smoking after 30 years when a 1988 cigarette tax that I voted for went into effect. Six months after he retired, he went back to work in construction. He didn’t stop working until he turned 75 and throat cancer made his retirement permanent six weeks later in 2012. My father’s work ethic is an inspiration for me.

For my last Slashdot troll, the idea of creating multiple income streams and not retiring seems like a get rich scheme. It’s not. But it requires more work than having a job and hoping for the best.

And do we need to talk about his love life? As far as I can tell, he’s never had a relationship. Or even kissed a woman. Or a man.

Yes, I’m a 51-year-old male virgin. So what?

He did take up photography, for about a week. Then there was his Microsoft certifications phase. Needless to say, nothing got done there either.

The 20-year-old camera body that I picked up for $50 USD on eBay had a fuzzy LCD screen on the back and didn’t support automatic focus on my brand new 50mm lens. Taking digital pictures with that camera was like taking film pictures: only 1 in 36 shots was useable. It was a fun challenge — for a week. That was my introduction to a camera with interchangeable lens. The 50mm lens I can use for my next — and hopefully brand new — camera body.

As for the Microsoft certifications, my employer and I can’t agree on what certifications I should take. They have no clue what I do in my government I.T. job for the last six years. Mid-career certifications are worthless unless someone else pays for them.

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